Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Acting work is here now!

This is exciting! The play I am in called Tour de Force is going to be part of this weekend's Theater for the New City Lower East Side arts festival. Friday night at 6:50 pm, be there.....

I also booked a short film yesterday and will be co-choreographing a dance sequence.

Why do I continue to believe my dreams will come true? Because it feels better when I do! It's such a relief to know what I want because for years I wasn't sure or just didn't have the courage to admit it to myself.

My ROCK THE AUDITION class with Sheri Sanders has been amazing and I'm getting great feedback. There are a few Broadway singers in my class which was really intimidating to me at first. It was tempting at first to sit in some jealousy over the sounds their vocal instruments are capable of producing. I'm glad I let that go and am able to thoroughly enjoy and learn from these little RITs (rock stars in training!). I'm just letting myself be free and perform from my heart. So far, the results have been very good! To help train my voice, I'm starting biweekly classes with Tom Burke tonight.

Carolann Valentino's Burnt at the Steak premiered Monday night at the People's Improv Theatre. She was stunning and brilliant! She is a triple threat talent who possesses such command of the stage and ingenuity that you will be blown away when you see her perform!!

What else? Well, I sprained my ankle again so I'm off it for a while and doing PT for it. This is great though because I'm really going to focus on things like pilates, yoga, strength training and even swimming. I think this is exactly what my entire body, not just my ankle, needs. I've been doing a lot of high impact training and my joints are tired; yes, this change is what I need now, truly.

I hope you enjoyed this little bit of Lindspiration!! If my blog in any way helps you find your own courage and passion in any area of your life, please let me know!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

I Have The Ball

Whew! Friday nights are tough. I'm overtired from the week which makes it a challenge to wind down. Glad I slept well enough and although I woke up on this Saturday morning earlier than I had hoped, I at least made it relaxing (caught up on Grey's Anatomy) and productive (laundry, cleaning, shopping at KMart. Yes, happy to report I found a fabulous little dress to wear for Mother's Day for $16.99.)

If life were a soccer game, I am the center forward to whom a ball was passed straight from the back end, from the right defender. The ball was cleared and I have trapped it with ease. Now, it's time to turn and face the goal and look up, see the field, assess my options, and make a move. I can pass. I can dribble. I can go to goal. What I can't do is fill up with doubt, reluctance, self criticism or worry. No time for that because, well, that's when a defender on the opposing team comes up and strips the ball from between your feet before you can say, ummm, KMart.

My awareness today is that I have the ball! In regard to my career as an actor, things are moving. I have a show on Tuesday night. I am getting great feedback in a musical theater class I'm taking. I am working on a dance class that uses positive affirmations to feel great and sexy in your own skin and I'm shining there! The screenplay idea my brother and I came up with has steam and could be hilarious. I start filming an independent feature in July with a table read this month.

Hello, I have been passed the ball!! If I were sitting here on my computer with zero opportunities to speak of, I would perhaps be talking about the feeling of being sidelined. I had that when I played soccer at Cornell on the varsity squad. I rarely saw a competitive minute. I remember the feeling of getting put in when we were down about 5-0 against the mighty U of Connecticut. That was particularly difficult because I saw these girls, the Tiejen twins, who I used play against as a child competitively and now they were kicking ass for a top D 1 school and I was a sub.

Things are happening and what I need to do is take each opportunity and treasure it like the golden nugget it is. The distance between what I want to achieve and what I am achieving may not be as wide and vast as I imagine.

It actually becomes exciting when I realize I have the ball! It's like, YES, it's here and I am here and I am alive. There is nothing wrong with being hopeful, excited and enthusiastic. It is a wonderful place to be.

Where Happiness Lies

Where happiness lies, as in, where I find it. Its source. What makes me happy. I make me happy. Sometimes it's easy. I just observe something that comes into my life, that I've attracted, and it matches That Which I Want and there is harmony.

I want to get the acting job and give a great performance
I get the acting job and give a great performance
I feel happy.

Suffering stems from unfulfilled desire and lack of faith in its future manifestation.

I want to meet my soul mate and live happily ever after in a beautiful relationship with kids
I am single and feel afraid I'll never meet the one
I feel sad.

Happy/Sad. This is the binary that's set up in my mind. So black and white, simplified and limited.

True happiness lies in more subtle things than the rainbow of success. It is helping a friend tonight as she packs up and gets ready to leave her partner and move to a new place, alone again for the first time in a very long while. To just be there and help her let go of clothing, kitchenware, shoes, etc., as she prepares for her new phase. Or, to give my parents Bruce Springstein tix as a surprise. They were elated. Even volunteering at a charity event last night for a few hours as a coat check chick. These are all good things that helped other people and causes bigger than me.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Bizarre Fact I Wish Was Fiction

This morning, before getting ready for work, I caught a 5 second tidbit of a story broadcasted on FOX or WPIX about an elderly unidentified man found dead in the bottom of an elevator shaft. This was in Riverdale, a section of the Bronx, and he had been missing since yesterday afternoon. What else is new, I thought. This is why I don't watch the news in the am while I'm getting ready, unless it's NPR. I do not, I reminded myself, want to hear about grizzly murders, botched robberies and freak accidents, let alone traffic and weather together every 10 minutes.

I didn't think twice about this unidentified man for another minute. I switched to Vh1 Soul, danced around my apartment, and En Vogued and SaltnPeppa'd my way into a frenzy. That, I was reminded, is the way to go in the morning. 1992 Video Music Award's footage and we're looking at hot shorts, patent leather, buff men in boots and dance moves that put the D in Diva. I was so excited I updated my Facebook status. (I'm trying - I'm even on Twitter - but is there a point?)

The point is that later in the day I got an email from my mom that asked me to call her, which I did promptly. Her cousin Sheldon, she said, was found dead in the bottom of an elevator shaft in his building. You see, Sheldon was legally blind and when the door to the elevator was opened, sans elevator, he stepped on and plunged to the ground below. He was 67 and leaves behind a wife and son, a great guy who's married with a beautiful daughter who will never know her grandpa. The tragedy of this is that it could've been prevented. A faulty elevator -- perhaps someone knew it was broken and didn't say anything. Or, maybe the super or maintenance people were behind schedule and would get to it when they had a minute. Who knows?

Oddly, after I found out, I kept thinking about pop culture. I thought how this would've been a great plot line on Six Feet Under. I thought about Twin Peaks and how David Lynch could've weaved something like this into the quest for Laura Palmer's killer (okay, that is a stretch but I couldn't stop thinking about TP). I thought about Law and Order and how they'd suspect foul play at first but after discovering another death n Riverdale they'd get totally confused and that pretty Greek-American actress would have to figure out which one was a murder and which was a terrible accident.

It was all blending together in my mind. That, I have to say, is probably one of the most confusing things about the workings (or trappings) of it. I tend to seek out ways to understand my life as if it were a movie or a series (preferably on HBO, Showtime or AMC.) I overidentify with storylines you find in the news or play roles as an actress but I can see how personally it hurts me to think of my life as some kind of narrative where I'm not quite 100% participating. As I sit here in my apartment, thinking about my cousins and how devastated they must be about the facts, wishing they can turn them into fiction, perhaps a television episode, I wonder if we need this kind of over-identification with fiction just to cope with painful news. I'm too tired to really think much right now but I suspect an idea or two is forming in this post somewhere.

I also wonder if anything matters more than real family and friends. When shit hits the fan or a loved one is lost, you need real people, not tv characters, with whom to connect.

Rest in Peace, Sheldon. We may not have seen you often but we loved you.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

One thing leads to another...

I performed in a 24 hour plays festival on Saturday night and the writer liked how it turned out so much that she invited us to perform it May 12th at The Duplex cabaret theater in the West Village. It's at 7 pm and tix are $5 with a 2 drink minimum.

Reading Eckert Tolle's A New Earth and want to share this paragraph which I read today:

Those who are exceptionally good at what they do may be completely or largely free of ego while performing their work. They may not know it, but their work has become a spiritual practice..I have met teachers, artists, nurses, doctors, scientists, social workers, waiters, hairdressers, business owners and salespeople who perform their work admirably without any self-seeking, fully responding to whatever the moment requires of them. They are one with what they do, one with the Now, one with the people or the task they serve. The influence such people have upon others goes far beyond the function they perform. They bring about a lessening of the ego in everyone who comes into contact with them. Even people with heavy egos sometimes begin to relax, let down their guard, and stop playing their roles when they interact with them. It comes as no surprise that those people who work without ego are extraordinarily successful at what they do. Anybody who is one with what he or she does is building the new earth.

For someone who is (I admit) constantly seeking external validation with regard to my performing skilllzzzz, this was a real eye opener. It made me think about when I played soccer as a kid and was so engrossed in what I was doing that I often felt in the zone and, as described above, at one with what I was doing. Soccer was so engulfing that I was oblivious to crowds cheering or booing or anything. One move or pass would lead to the next and then to the next. Acting from moment to moment is the same but I find it harder to achieve, perhaps partly because I haven't been doing it as long as soccer, which I started playing at age 5.

The most important thing to take away from that paragraph and this book A New Earth in general is to think less about myself! Less thoughts of praise, less thoughts of criticism, less thoughts overall. That is the dissolution of ego in part and when I have moments where I am not in the +/- mentality, I am at greater peace than at any other moments. Less self seeking - what a concept.

In order to take care of myself, I must surrender to this because I often feel lost in a whirlwind of trying to win approval as a performer and even just as a person, as Lindsay. I know that quest is futile and leads to a Dead End. I was going to call it adolescent, which I guess one could argue it is, but since it plagues so many adults I would hesitate to use that label. I am feelng more and more that what would make me feel the most worthwhile and like my life truly has meaning is if I'm working to improve the world -- somehow addressing one of the many, many ills which plague us.

I also am noticing more and more the call to live in a more natural setting. New York City is an extraodinary mecca but between the pollution (smokers should be banned from doing it on streets, I fully believe) and the noise, I just feel sick here. Not sure how to work this one out, but we'll see where the Universe leads me and I do believe it does lead.

Monday, April 20, 2009

How the callback went and a new audition!

the rain is coming down like exclamation points
enthusiastic about its persistent
steady release
of what most people don't want
satisfied to hurl at full strength
that which covers the sunshine
and the heat
and the moonshine
and the treat of a sky to gaze upon


I could not be more content. I love this rain. It is so beautiful. My calm candle sits on the window sill. I just ate a nourishing dinner. I am peaceful in my quiet home and I am truly grateful.

The callback for "The Day the Music Died" went well. I thought I did a good job with the acting. My singing -- um, I had fun but I was screeching and for some reason the producers laughed when I was done. I wasn't trying to be funny! :) Such a success just to show up and give 100%, which I did. I will be working on my audition technique when I start a new class next month called "Rock the Audition" with Sheri Sanders and Wendy Bobbitt Cavett, the current Musical Director for "Mamma Mia" on Bwy. It's going to be an amazing pop/rock audition class and I cannot wait!!

When I finished auditioning tonight, I was elated to find an email which said I've been called to audition for a part in a show called "The Boychick Affair" ( It had a successful 14-month run in LA and now a NY production is in the works, opening July 4th weekend! I'd be playing a Reform Jewish Rabbi who also happens to be pregnant, a lesbian and really into Zen. I can't make this stuff up.

What else? Someone I went to camp with posted a comment on my Facebook page today asking me if I'm going to be famous. He was just making a joke, hardy har har, but it did get me thinking. What if that happens? Fame is not what it used to be. It is watered down because now everybody can be famous thanks to the advent of the internet, reality television, etc. It's like the law of diminishing returns in economics -- the more you produce of a product, the lesser its value (Ian, did I get that right?). I don't pursue fame as a goal and I don't think about it but I am not afraid of it. I don't want to fear anything in this lifetime.

Have a great night and keep dreaming in the sunshine, the moonshine and the peaceful rain.


Sunday, April 19, 2009

Callback and a contract in the mail...

Hi everbody! I am so excited -- I was called back for a second round of auditions for the musical The Day The Music Died produced by GST Visions. I'll be learning the audition song today. Also, I booked an independent feature film last month and yesterday the producer called to ask me where to mail my contract. My first contract!!!! WOO HOO!!!!

I am so inspired by people who don't give up on themselves ever, no matter what. People who just go for their dreams despite the but's. Don't be a butthead!!!! I refuse to be. I'm more fired up and determined than ever and know this is going to be an amazing few months of growth and expansion for me!! It's such a gift.

What do you feel inspired by and if the only thing standing between you and success was you, what would you go after?

There is abundance all around us available at all times. Today, I am focusing on it. I am focusing on all the things going right in my life and affirming that I am a beautiful and talented actress, singer, fitness teacher and writer. What about you? Can you list 5 things about yourself that you love and want to nourish?

Check out to see where I get so much of my inspiration. Email me if you want to be on my mailing list so I can tell you when and where I am teaching next!